Sometimes I feel like it's a burden to have such a drive to create Art, but then I have to kick myself and remember how lucky I am to see the world I do and tell myself I can't be afraid anymore and to get ready to fight for myself.
I feel like I have wasted way to much time being afraid, and I know I don't give myself enough credit artistically. At the same time though I feel like I have no idea where to start. I feel like college or university isn't the right place for me, I feel like everything I want to learn about how to paint or draw I have learned. Anything else I want to learn I feel I can teach myself. And when it comes down to it you can't teach anyone 'how' to do art. Everyone will draw a flower, or paint a sunset in their own way, that is the beauty of art. I know I have a fantastic understanding of art history, principles and elements of design, different mediums and styles. I know I have the tools I need, I just feel like I need the space to make something amazing happen. I know it's already inside of me just waiting to come out. Once I start it only feels like it starts to get better. I just hope that I can somehow figure out how I need to do what I want to do. I need to stay confident in my skills and make my dreams come true. All I have ever wanted is to be an artist, and like I always say, I could paint forever. I really do live and breathe creativity all the time. From painting, and drawing, photography, sculpture/pottery, to sewing and jewelry making I have always been creative in some way in my life. I also want to incorporate sawing and jewelry/beading into my paintings. I am always coming up with new ideas to try out and new ways of approaching my art. This I am all sure of, yet I still feel like I don't know how to make it happen for myself, I still feel to afraid to show the world what I have to offer. I really hope I can change this soon because I am afraid of waking up tomorrow and being 60 and have made nothing of myself artistically. I can't deny myself the right to pursue my talents and dreams because if I do then my life and talents will be wasted.
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